Taking Care of Others

Once upon a time, in a world not so long ago, most people actually knew their neighbours and kept tabs on each other’s children and elders. Chicken soup was delivered to those who were sick. Baking was shared with neighbours as was the produce from the garden. No one worried about sickos grabbing children off the street or putting dangerous things into halloween candy and fruit. Santa Claus delivered coal to bad children. Neighbours talked over the back fence and helped others out.Caring for others, #love, #care, http://successthieves.net/

It was a world where when disaster struck; you knew which neighbour needed to be checked on. You knew who the vulnerable were in your area. You cared about them and they cared about you. You helped others when they asked and even when they didn’t. You cared about those who were in pain or withdrawn and you respected other’s property.

Can we have a caring world today?

I believe we can but it requires some simple changes in the way we think and the way we belong to our communities.

It starts with family. It starts with parents setting guidelines for their children and living by those guidelines themselves. Children require several things that every parent can provide – love, attention, support, encouragement and protection. Yes children need food and shelter, clothing and education but if we provide for their emotional and mental needs, the material things are less important.

Either turn off the television or realistically discuss what is seen in the unreal world of television. This is also important as an adult because otherwise we think what we see on Shortland Street, Days of our Life, Lucifer and Suits are normal: the beautiful clothes, the luxury homes and apartments, the elaborate dinners and the abusive treatment of people.

Good writers, especially movie and television understand that you need conflict and resolution to prevent a story from being boring but seriously is that your reality? Most of us do have conflict at some time in our life but mostly we cope with a routine and the joys of doing things well.

And watching television makes us rue the ordinariness of our lives. (Books and movies can do the same thing). Studies and reports say that some people live their lives through reality television and soap operas.

Look around you. The people you see every day are the ones that really matter so today do the following:

  1. Smile at EVERYONE you meet
  2. Say hello and never be afraid to stop and talk for 30 seconds.
  3. Be kind to others. Open doors, help people with their load and be polite. Please and thank you still make a difference.
  4. Tell those in your family that you love them and say thank you to them every night as you hug them before going to sleep.
  5. Hugs are needed by every person. Touch people but only if they are comfortable with the touching. When we touch and hug something happens to our being.
  6. Share when you have excess of anything.
  7. Care for the neighbourhood. Never drop garbage and pick up others if possible. Watch where you pets defecate and pick it up.
  8. Plant beautiful flowers and share them with others.
  9. Grow herbs and use them liberally.
  10. Remember to teach your children that they have responsibilities and that nothing is theirs by right. Gratitude is something we need to practice every day.
  11. Take time to smell the grass, watch the sunrise and give thanks.
  12. Get your hands dirty occasionally. Physical labour never hurt anyone and it really grounds you.
  13. Feel the earth. Touch the grass, the leaves, the bark, the water, the wind and turn your face to the rain and the sun.
  14. Recycle as much as possible.
  15. Turn off the electronics.
  16. Laugh out loud often.
  17. Dance and move to music, even if only in your head
  18. Sing out loud.
  19. Spend time doing something new.
  20. Learn something new every day – experience ah-ha moments.

And when your heart is full of gratitude, love and laughter, you will care about others.: because to care about others you have to stop thinking only about yourself.

Live a purposeful life and enjoy it

http://www.successthieves.net; #mentor
Word Mentalist


Depression, Birthdays and Success Thieves

Birthdays are supposed to be happy days but as we get older I notice how they become more and more depressing and steal the joy of the celebration.

Yesterday I wished someone a happy birthday and they responded with birthday yes, happy no.

That led to a phone call…http://www.successthieves.net; #depression

Truth was he did not feel very happy. Everything seemed hopeless.

I remember that feeling. It was one of the reasons I wrote “Who Stole My Success?”

It happens to everyone I believe. There are moments in our life when we look back and it feels like nothing has worked out. And when we feel like that it is CRITICAL to find things to be grateful for.

It is also important to create plans, even simple actions that you will undertake today and tomorrow.

World Health Organization (WHO) added a new video: I had a black dog, his name was depression. It was eye-opening for me about depression. I know that depression is serious: 3 members of my family suffer from serious, immobilizing depression.

http://successthieves.net; #depression

I don’t claim to understand the depths of the mental health situation called depression but I do know that depression can affect everyone around the person suffering.

Is there a simple way of dealing with depression, short-term or long-term?

I’m not certain that there is but what I am certain of is that unless we connect, care and love each other depression will continue to steal all of our success.

Substance abuse, binge drinking, even excessive exercise to build endorphins are all ways that can be used to reduce symptoms of depression.

But what is this thing called depression?

There are many webpages devoted to it. There are professionals in the medical and council fields that specialise in depression.

Is this an increasing health risk?

Just because you feel sad or cry are you depressed or is it a temporary human reaction and you will get through it?

My belief, (and please let me know if you agree or not); is that if we practiced the 5 A’s (awareness, acknowledgement, acceptance, appreciation and action) more and actually loved ourselves and others so that we were better connected, then depression would no longer be the fastest growing medical condition (both diagnosed and undiagnosed) in the western world today.

http:www.successthieves.net; #hugs
Hugs all around

So today – HUGS all around. I do care.

You are AWESOME and remember you can stop your success thieves by taking control of your choices and saying NO to what is not working for you.

And remember: it is okay sometimes to feel sad, cry or just feel bummed out.

May your day be filled with little miracles and one big joy that carries you through to tomorrow when the same wish holds. Do something FUN!

Until next time

http://www.successthieves.net; #mentor
Word Mentalist


What do I do now?

Have you ever felt that you reach a point and you have no idea of what to do now?

Often this question is asking you to consider one of 2 things:

  1. Am I living to my purpose?
  2. Do I need to redefine/review my constraints and choices?

When we problem solve, we need to know 5 things.

  1. Where we want to go? Move To
  2. Where we are now? Move Form
  3. What are the choices/optional activities to reach our objective? Paths
  4. What are the constraints on those choices including who else do we need to involve. Constraints
  5. Actions to move from where we are to where we want to be.

The greatest challenge is often to be clear on where we want to go?

Most of us know we don’t want to be where we are but…we are often afraid to envision where we want to be or worse we look at what we have and are afraid of losing it.

Many years ago, Peter and I packed up a wonderful life in Canada for a new adventure. We moved half way around the world with 40 boxes and 8 suitcases and 2 children under 12. We knew we wanted a different life. Peter always intended to move to New Zealand when he left Glasgow. So I knew we were coming to New Zealand when we married. The when was dependent on many variables.

Since coming to New Zealand, we have explored many different living conditions and styles. We have renovated old villas, built homes similar to what we lived in when we were in Canada. We have lived in apartments, flats, and different types of houses. (Yes we are a bit nomadic).

We have started companies, trained entrepreneurs, managed companies, gone back to university, run projects, worked on boards, mentored hundreds of people and so many more adventures.

In all our adventures, we wanted to meet both our purposes.

  • Peter’s to learn as much as possible not from formal education but through experience and book (internet) learning.
  • Mine was to help people and Peter supported me in this allowing me to help thousands of people learn and manage businesses and create new careers for themselves.

So when we ask “what next” we always revisit our purpose and look at what we can do next to meet that purpose.

And so the journey continues.

What next for you? Please share?

Live your Purpose

Word Mentalist

It Takes a Village…

It takes a village to raise a child is an African proverb but what does it mean in today’s western world?


Consider that instead of a village we call it a hamlet just to shift our paradigm from an African Village.

What would we find in this hamlet and why would we want it?

  1. We would find a collection of diverse people who want to live purposefully, sustainably and grow and develop individually and collectively.
  2. Each person willing to give of themselves and share the material things they bring and share their ideas and help others.
  3. Each person would understand that they have a responsibility for themselves and to the community. They keep their word and always do their best. They ask for help when they identify that they need it.
  4. A place where blame and shame have no place as everyone is perfectly who they are in the moment.
  5. Each person accepts that every other person in the hamlet needed love, caring, understanding, friendship and support and each person works to provide that to every other person in the hamlet.
  6. The hamlet provided for its own energy, food, water and basic survival needs. All income is shared as are expenses. If is sounds like a commune there are some similarities but the difference comes because each week the person in charge changes. The hamlet needs a person in charge because it must interact with the greater world and that needs someone to help make internal decisions and help all to understand each other as well as pass out superior daily hugs to everyone.
  7. Touch is important but sexuality and sex are not important.
  8. Children are treasured and encouraged but everyone is responsible for a child’s welfare. Rules exist but but they allow individuality and encourages testing limits.
  9. All ages are valued and supported
  10. Food is simple, basic natural, pure and nutritious. No preservatives, no additives and no excess but balanced for each person’s needs at the time. Cooking can be communal or individual. Storing surplus is unnecessary as everything is made to meet daily needs however freezing, canning and preserving is encouraged. The concept is to live off the land. Meals are for sharing and learning as well as eating. Snacking is discouraged. Alcohol and medicinal drugs are special needs only. Herbs and natural products are used to optimise health. Sugar is limited or eliminated.
  11. Laughter is encouraged.
  12. Everyone is acknowledged, accepted and appreciated and told every day thank you for being you.
  13. Belief in a higher being, God is an underlying principle and gratitude for the blessings is given daily.
  14. Every person is encouraged to challenge their limits and to continually learn new things. Experimentation is encouraged.
  15. Staying in the hamlet is a choice but harming the hamlet or any individual could result in asking person to leave the hamlet.
  16. Life is purposeful and full of gratitude.
  17. The past is a lesson, the future is a promise and NOW is all there really is.

What else would you like to see in your hamlet? What would it take to create this kind of hamlet? Can it be done?

To a living a purposeful paradigm

Word Mentalist