Fresh Starts

#freshstaert

You can have a fresh start every day.

Last January 2017 (in NZ) I participated in #Love Your Life in 30 Days” with Mike Dooley of TUT fame.

I never finished all 30 day but my insight from the process is to confirm how blessed and fortunate I am. This does not mean a perfect life but a life that is good and this year has some wonderful prospects. Eight months into the year, many things, both good and bad, have happened but we are still blessed, happy and relatively healthy/

What is a fresh start and how does it relate to success thieves?

When you decide that you want to do something, think something or simply act differently, you have a fresh start.

Remind yourself when you doubt or question what you are doing that you are making a fresh start because TODAY is your day.

Fresh Starts Require Fresh ThinkingBeing Aware is Key to stopping success thieves. http://www.successthieves.net

And to think fresh you need to stay aware of what you are thinking, doing and saying.

If you slip and move into regret or old patterns, then simply acknowledge that emotion and thoughts and move to the new patterns and restart the process.

The most wonderful thing about fresh starts is there is NO LIMIT on how many times you can start again.

When you notice patterns or old habits returning, accept them and then challenge them Habits like eating patterns, especially for those hoping to affect their weight (either up or down). New study habits, new relationships or new career moves or even stopping smoking, drinking or drug use only requires doing it one second/minute/hour/day at a time.

Appreciate the progress you are making and get support and help when you feel overwhelmed.

And perhaps one of the best things you can do to have a really good fresh start is limit your social media activities as well as your input from news and gossip.

Your fresh start is independent of whatever is happening in the world outside of your immediate environment.

Yes, you need to know if a storm is coming, a fire or other danger that requires you to take action to stay safe. You control your actions, your thoughts and your reactions. And that means you are able to continuously fresh start.

Fresh starts are about you. Choose what you want and go for it.

Remember that what stops you from making that fresh start often has one of two causes:

  • Lack of imagination. The reluctance to find a solution or change what is or even to ask for help.
  • Commitment to start something new. Commitment to overcome the fear of change.

Where do you want the fresh start to take you to? Once you know that you just have to figure out the route and the constraints and then adapt and adjust and KEEP MOVING.

And remember that there are many coaches, mentors and advisors out there who have overcome similar challenges by making continuous fresh starts.

Find one!

Enjoy making your fresh start and remember to ask me if you believe I can help you move forward.

To you being your glorious purposeful self

#robertabudvietas

Your Mind: Open or Closed, Mindful

#mindfulness

And what does an open mind or a closed mind look like and why does it matter? What is this concept called mindfulness and how does that relate to open or closed minds?

An Open Mind

What is an open mind? Is it a mind that will look at all possibilities or is it a mind that will consider different opinions and is willing to change if something fits the person’s purpose better.

A  Closed Mind

Is a closed mind one that receives no additional information and the person is so focused on their own purpose that there is no room for any alternative considerations?

Mindfulness

Could mindfulness really mean that the mind is so full that it has no ability to receive new information?

What is the state of mind that really matters?
  • A mind that is aware – aware of what is happening internally and externally.
  • A mind that acknowledges other people and their similarities and their differences.
  • A mind that accepts other ideas, people, opinions and thoughts. Acceptance does not mean agreement, it simply means that there is a different way of thinking but the question is how does that different way fit the purpose of the person being aware of that difference?
  • A mind that appreciates that there are other opinions and ideas. A mind that realises learning and development truly happens when difference occurs and the person can grow.
  • A mind that listens, responds and takes action that corresponds to the purpose of the person taking the action.

The saddest occurrence today is people who feel hopeless because they are unable to live their purpose and feel that they have no control of what will happen to them.

Your mind is a resource. It helps you make decisions. It helps you be aware of your needs. It helps you respond to the needs of others especially those you love, work with and care about.

Your mind needs to be fed. Fed new ideas, new thoughts and new challenges.

A mind that is never challenged stagnates and that seems to lead to some very dire conditions.

My belief: to be healthy and feel alive and useful, you need to keep your mind active and aware. You need to consider all information but not get hung up on it. You need to live your purpose.

Purposeful Living gives you control when everything else seems beyond your control. Purposeful living weighs up possibilities and makes choices based on essential needs.

So keep your mind slightly open but close it when you see that what is being offered takes you off purpose. Be aware, mindful, of what is happening but please refuse to constantly accept that other’s know what is best for you.

Stand tall and proud.

You are the perfect you. Never let anyone steal that from you.

Live, love and laugh often

http://www.successthieves.net; #mentor
Word Mentalist

 

 

Why does a Village Matter?

Remember when we shared village principals…

  • children played on the street and everyone watched out for them?
  • the elderly were visited by their neighbours on a regular basis?
  • We were connected on an eye-ball to eye-ball level rather than electronically.
  • We noticed when someone was at a neighbour’s window.
  • We asked strangers if we could help them.
  • We smiled at everyone.
  • We talked to people in shops and had a relationship with the butcher, the baker and the pharmacist. The staff knew who we were and what we were looking for and when we would shop.

But that has changed and with the change we seem to have had an increase in isolation, depression, stress, suicide, health issues and a general breakdown of relationships.

An Alternative: Cohousing

Here is a Ted talk on cohousing 

Thriving depends on connection. You really achieve very little on your own and since we rarely pat ourselves on our own backs, who else will support us and cheer us on?

We are all here on this earth on purpose. We all belong here. We all exist to help and serve others so let’s think about how we live.

Fear dies when we stop feeling isolated. Remember how it feels to be loved. To be cared for and nurtured. We need more of that feeling not less. We need that feeling at all ages.

Success is not about having powerful jobs, lots of money and lots of power. Look at people you admire and study their careers. How many destroy what is good when they get power?

How many burn out quickly when they are on the top of their “game/career’? Alcohol, drugs grab hold because people need something to make them feel better or to calm then down.

Let’s talk more about cohabiting. Talk about community not in what can you do for me or for the less fortunate but what can we do for each other. How do we stop the insanity?

Do we tell governments, politicians and despots/dictators to take a hike and instead of waiting for someone else to fix the problem around us, we do it ourselves.

We go out and patch the road, feed the hungry and house the homeless. We acknowledge that everyone has a value and we accept and appreciate what everyone can contribute. We feed the hungry and they help us with the garden or the housework. Not charity but sharing and helping. Walking together. Reading together. Laughing together. Sharing heartaches and joys. We help others to learn by sharing our stories and experiences especially those about caring for others.

I believe that cohabiting is the future for every apartment building and gated community and suburb but …we need to change our attitude and stop fearing that we will lose something precious. There is only one thing precious.

LIFE

And life is precious because it is about love, interconnectivity, faith and expressing those things. 

What do you really want in your LIFE? What do you have in your life that you value that keeps you on living your purpose.

Let us create  villages. The concept is growing geographically but now it needs to grow emotionally and connectivity wise. It will take a change in thinking, attitude and it will push boundaries.

Let us all care more.

With love and best wishes

http://www.successthieves.net; #mentor
Word Mentalist

 

It Takes a Village…

It takes a village to raise a child is an African proverb but what does it mean in today’s western world?

 

Consider that instead of a village we call it a hamlet just to shift our paradigm from an African Village.

What would we find in this hamlet and why would we want it?

  1. We would find a collection of diverse people who want to live purposefully, sustainably and grow and develop individually and collectively.
  2. Each person willing to give of themselves and share the material things they bring and share their ideas and help others.
  3. Each person would understand that they have a responsibility for themselves and to the community. They keep their word and always do their best. They ask for help when they identify that they need it.
  4. A place where blame and shame have no place as everyone is perfectly who they are in the moment.
  5. Each person accepts that every other person in the hamlet needed love, caring, understanding, friendship and support and each person works to provide that to every other person in the hamlet.
  6. The hamlet provided for its own energy, food, water and basic survival needs. All income is shared as are expenses. If is sounds like a commune there are some similarities but the difference comes because each week the person in charge changes. The hamlet needs a person in charge because it must interact with the greater world and that needs someone to help make internal decisions and help all to understand each other as well as pass out superior daily hugs to everyone.
  7. Touch is important but sexuality and sex are not important.
  8. Children are treasured and encouraged but everyone is responsible for a child’s welfare. Rules exist but but they allow individuality and encourages testing limits.
  9. All ages are valued and supported
  10. Food is simple, basic natural, pure and nutritious. No preservatives, no additives and no excess but balanced for each person’s needs at the time. Cooking can be communal or individual. Storing surplus is unnecessary as everything is made to meet daily needs however freezing, canning and preserving is encouraged. The concept is to live off the land. Meals are for sharing and learning as well as eating. Snacking is discouraged. Alcohol and medicinal drugs are special needs only. Herbs and natural products are used to optimise health. Sugar is limited or eliminated.
  11. Laughter is encouraged.
  12. Everyone is acknowledged, accepted and appreciated and told every day thank you for being you.
  13. Belief in a higher being, God is an underlying principle and gratitude for the blessings is given daily.
  14. Every person is encouraged to challenge their limits and to continually learn new things. Experimentation is encouraged.
  15. Staying in the hamlet is a choice but harming the hamlet or any individual could result in asking person to leave the hamlet.
  16. Life is purposeful and full of gratitude.
  17. The past is a lesson, the future is a promise and NOW is all there really is.

What else would you like to see in your hamlet? What would it take to create this kind of hamlet? Can it be done?

To a living a purposeful paradigm

Word Mentalist

ABC’s of the Purposeful Living Paradigm

Do you love basics? Knowing the rules? Doing what is acceptable/expected? Then you probably have some ABCs that you do in your life and business. The basics!

Living in the Paradigm

The Purposeful Living Paradigm is a methodology we have been living for most of our married lives (a span of 48 years shortly). Peter  started living that way as a child, he has always lived to his purpose.

What is Peter’s purpose – to learn and understand as much as possible. He loves to synthesize new thoughts, new ways of looking at the world. He asks different and often difficult questions. He studies what people do and say and then asks them why and would they do things differently, if they could? His analytical ability astounds me. He is not a fan of formal education as he loves the research, the seeking out of patterns and behaviours. He listens. He prothletises. He challenges. He assumes very little. And he takes very little personally – your opinion is yours and he allows you to keep it.

My purpose is to help as many people as possible to live their purpose. As a business mentor this is often hard as I want to tell people what they should do if they really want the results they say they do. I tend to believe people and take them at face value. Sometimes this works really well but often people tell me only what they think I want to hear and that means we have a confused base to start applying the ABC’s of the Purposeful Living Paradigm.

Before I explain the ABCs, we need to understand the word paradigm and one of the quirks of human nature.

According to dictionary definitions: A paradigm is

  • a framework containing the basic assumptions, ways of thinking,and methodology that are commonly accepted by members of scientific community such as  a cognitive framework shared by members of any discipline or group.

A quirk – most people when they shift paradigms cannot remember ever having believed or thought differently. It takes awareness and discipline to recall old paradigms and when we shift our paradigms we generally believe we are moving to something better so why would we want to recall the previous paradigm. Shifting is because either the old paradigm did not work or we saw the light of the new paradigm. And yes I want you to shift but shift so that choose and remember.

That is importance of the A in the ABCs.

The ABC’s of Purposeful Living Paradigm

A: AWARENESS/ ACTION

  • Are you aware of your thoughts and actions?
  • Are you aware of what is happening around you without getting distracted from your activities?
  • Are you taking action and doing something that moves you towards meeting your needs and the needs of those around you.
  • Are you acting in a manner consistent with your purpose?
  • Are you acting according to your values?

YOUR ATTITUDE

B: BEHAVIOUR/BELIEFS

  • Actions matter but it is your behaviour that tells more. Using the Behavioural Archetypes, we often learn that we act in a way that is more reactive than natural.
  • Behaviour is how we live our values and our manifesto.
  • What you believe in keeps you on course to live your purpose.

C: CONCEPTS/COMMITMENTS

  • Concepts are the ideas and beliefs that we hold and we need to always live and act in a manner consistent with those beliefs. Unless we live purposefully according to our beliefs we can feel guilty.
  • Guilt and remorse are different. Remorse occurs when you inadvertently hurt someone. Guilt is when you hurt someone intentionally. Either way, apologise and forgive and move on. This is not easy but can be done without regret or concern.
  • What are you committed to? Passion and purpose fit with our commitments and our commitments are what we promise ourselves and others. Are you committed to live your values and purpose. Commitment overcomes obstacles and keeps you focused on what matters to you.

Are you using the ABC’s to live a purposeful life? Need help with these aspects? Just ask? You can learn and participate in the Paradigm by joining the Paradigm’s Facebook Page

May you always live in the Purposeful Paradigm

Word Mentalist

 

Purposeful Living Paradigm #1

The Life Equations

It started as a parody on Einstein’s equation (E = Mc2 ). The thought was that there should be an equation that fits how we live. Not a linear equation, but one that was at least quadratic in form.

But what would be the elements, the equivalents to E and M and c?

What do people look for in their lives?

Our first attempts were money, health and entertainment. But these were too fixed to suit our approach. So, we started with synonyms: Wealth, Health and Enjoyment. Still too restrictive for what we wanted, and extremely hard to measure.

We eventually opted for the Three F’s…

  • Fun: that’s enjoyment, entertainment and more. It can also incorporate “bliss”, “energy”, and more.
  • Funds: the available resources that someone can have. Accounting tends to put everything down to money, and we were using the parody in a business sense. To simplify, we added the meaning of Time — you need the TIME to get things done. And it alliterates nicely with Fun
  • Fitness: If the other two began with F, then the health component should also start with an F. But Fitness can also include “being fit for purpose”, hence we could use it for physical fitness, emotional fitness, mental fitness and even spiritual fitness, whatever that could mean.

But what would be the right equation?

We chose:

F = F * F2

But which F stands for which element?

That’s the humorous part — they just all need to be there.

It gives us six life equations….

The Development Equation (Early Years)

Fun = Funds * Fitness2

As children, our lives are (mostly) about Fun. We don’t have to worry about where funds are coming from, and we do our best to be fit for all the fun we can have.

The  Rebellious-Phase Equation (Teenager Years)

As teens, we start to look at fitness for our future lives, so the subject has to be Fitness. We get fitter in all kinds of ways by mixing Funds with Fun, but Fun is the biggest contributor:

Fitness = Funds * Fun2

The Finding Your Place Equation ( Young Adult)

Suddenly, resources are the main concern, Fun isn’t as much a contributor but we have to have the knowledge and skills to generate the funds:

Funds = Fun * Fitness2

The Maturing Equation (Family/Career/Adulthood)

Funds are still our main concern, but Fitness drops, and we want to really enjoy what we do. We buy into the idea that Fun (our Bliss) is the main contributor to our earnings.

Funds = Fitness * Fun2 

 

The “What Next” Equation (Change of Life Style)

Fitness = Fun * Funds2 

At this stage of life, we usually have all the resources we can use, but we are more interested in the quality of life, rather than the quantity.

The  Rewards Equation (The Final Third Stage)

Fun = Fitness * Funds2

The circle of life/business is complete.

The stages apply to business, life and community but the key is evolution and the continual need for the components of FUN, FUNDS and FITNESS in some proportion in your life.

REMEMBER – teach your grandchildren the components and the formulae so that their world has purpose that is fulfilled.

Enjoy Fun, Funds and Fitness today

Word Mentalist

Being Flexible Stops Success Thieves

#beingflexible

When you are flexible you have the ability to control and change and that stops success thieves.

How can you be flexible?

Awareness is the first step in being flexible.

Be aware of what you are doing so you can decide if it is worthwhile to continue doing it.

Be aware of the what is happening around you. So often we act on autopilot, doing the same things in the same way and never looking at why or if there is a better way or even if it is needed.

Be aware of the reactions to what is happening around you and avoid shiny object syndrome (buying because media or friends say that you have to have something).

Next is acknowledge what is happening. Just being aware is never enough. You need to acknowledge that people and things are what they are. So often we can put blinkers on and pretend that things have not changed or that people are the same as they have always been. But in truth, change is a constant and you need to acknowledge that the change has happened and accept those changes. Flexibility  depends on acknowledging and accepting the difference in people and things.

Then be grateful, appreciate that things are evolving. After all do you really want to be stuck?

And the final thing to do is act of the changes.

  • Make a choice.
  • Make a decision.
  • Change and move in a different direction.
  • The success thieves are stopped because you no longer ignore the changes. Your flexibility removes rigid responses and helps your development.
  • Life is about choice and change.
  • So to choose and change you need to be flexible.
  • Have fun bending but not breaking.

Have fun enjoying your growth.

#robertabudvietas