What does success mean to you?

Success is a word loaded with emotion, meaning and confusion.

Why the confusion?

Simply because we are taught to think of success in terms of things, status and possessions rather than personal well-being.

Owning a home, a BIG home, owning a nice care, having nice clothes, the latest and greatest cell phone and the highest salary possible,

Who is deciding what makes you successful?

Every day we are bombarded with advertising that says:

  • Buy this new and improved product because you deserve it.
  • Eat this to feel better.
  • The messages are subtle – the side of trucks, the side of cars, the road side, on buses and at our sports games. You may be able to avoid advertising on television by channel hoping or watching TV on demand but the programmes are full of product placements. Apple for years had their computers in schools so that what people would want to buy is Apple products.
  • Movies and television promote the big, beautiful and “success” image of ownership of fine things. Even in the reality shows, the successful people wear expensive clothes and jewelry.

The message is subtle but it does affect most of us if we are not constantly aware. Jealousy when someone you know succeeds at something is growing and with it two other, perhaps unrelated things increase: Anger and despair.

Success relates to HOPE!

Happy, a choice you make

Open to new learnings

Peaceful, a feeling of well-being

Enlightened, aware of the wonders of life.

Should we think of Success as a feeling within yourself that says “I’m grateful and doing well”?

Should success be measured by our learnings and interactions rather than the number of dollars in our bank account or the total of our assets?

Given that people have short memories, what do you want to be remembered for: the difference you made in their life or how important you are?

Remember

What does success really mean to you? Please leave a comment today.

To your real success

#robertabudvietas

Is Political Correctness a Success Thief?

Is Political Correctness a Success Thief?

Political Correctness, in my humble opinion, is a HUGE Success thief.

Political Correctness is a majority opinion that looks first at simple things you agree with and then creates absolutes that take thought and care to disagree with.

Political Correctness feeds the SHOULD Thief.

Political Correctness is the THEY that say “you should…” just because they say you should.

Can you see how Political Correctness might limit your choices?

Political Correctness sets those bars that often stop people from thinking on their own. After all if they say, then obviously that is right.

Right?

Positive Discrimination can shine a light on something that only had a limited problem and blown it out of proportion to the size of the problem thus fulfilling the concernPolitical Correctness creates sacred cows. Common sense says certain things are true but what Political Correctness does is make shine a light and set new “rules” around a situation that may or may not have been a problem

The following examples are here for you consideration and comment:

  • The New Zealand anti-smacking law was brought in to stop deaths and violence against children. However the Ministry of Social Welfare reports that since 2006 there has been an increase in extreme violence against children. And worse several parents have been charged for smacking a child in public. We all agree smacking is bad, right. But what is the difference between beating a child and smacking their hand or bum to get their attention or make a point?
  • The New Zealand anti-smoking lobby began over 20 years ago. In the last 10 or so years it has become illegal to smoke in bars, restaurants, office buildings and many other public spaces. Are you aware of the statistics around lung cancer then and now? Could the increase be due more to the number of vehicles on the road or worse as one study I saw a few years ago said, the rate of smoking related deaths was equivalent to the rate women were wearing panyhose. How absurd?
  • Then there is the attitude around drugs to treat cancer. Why are some drugs readily acceptable while others that have only anecdotal evidence are rejected? And can anyone tell me why with over 50 years of cancer research and billions of dollars invested, cancer rates keep increasing? (As an aside, I know from personal experience that one can land up on the records as a cancer survivor if you have a non-cancerous lump removed)

And then there is this absurd example: In New Zealand we have a company who rents cheap vehicles and the PC brigade wants to put them out of business.

Why, you ask?

Because of the slogans on their vans.

Yes, many of their slogans are disgusting but…some people like them while others HATE them. Hate them to the point of criminal charges, reporting them to  Advertising Standards Authorities in Australia. In New Zealand, camping grounds are refusing them entry but…

Why did they start this campaign? Why paint their vans with “crudity”?

Because to stand out from all the other rental options, they wanted to be controversial.

Think of the marketing awareness they are getting because media reports something when ever someone “important” comments. Think of what is happening on Social media. Could you pay for that kind of awareness?

It almost reminds me of the Donald Trump campaign for President. Say the obvious. Talk about the issues in a controversial way that a lot of people agree with and the next thing you know people believe in you and start taking everything you say seriously.

Donald Trump is not anti political correctness I think that he wants to change the controllers of Political Correctness. He wants to give voice to another set of people who will reset the absolutes, the shoulds and the musts.

What can you do?

  • First be aware of what is happening.
  • Listen for the shoulds.
  • Decide if you agree and why you think the way you do.
  • Then acknowledge what is happening, accept the difference, appreciate the lesson and opinion and decide a course of action that will ensure you stay in control of your success.

Looking forward to your comments

#robertabudvietas

 

Taking Care of Others

Once upon a time, in a world not so long ago, most people actually knew their neighbours and kept tabs on each other’s children and elders. Chicken soup was delivered to those who were sick. Baking was shared with neighbours as was the produce from the garden. No one worried about sickos grabbing children off the street or putting dangerous things into halloween candy and fruit. Santa Claus delivered coal to bad children. Neighbours talked over the back fence and helped others out.Caring for others, #love, #care, http://successthieves.net/

It was a world where when disaster struck; you knew which neighbour needed to be checked on. You knew who the vulnerable were in your area. You cared about them and they cared about you. You helped others when they asked and even when they didn’t. You cared about those who were in pain or withdrawn and you respected other’s property.

Can we have a caring world today?

I believe we can but it requires some simple changes in the way we think and the way we belong to our communities.

It starts with family. It starts with parents setting guidelines for their children and living by those guidelines themselves. Children require several things that every parent can provide – love, attention, support, encouragement and protection. Yes children need food and shelter, clothing and education but if we provide for their emotional and mental needs, the material things are less important.

Either turn off the television or realistically discuss what is seen in the unreal world of television. This is also important as an adult because otherwise we think what we see on Shortland Street, Days of our Life, Lucifer and Suits are normal: the beautiful clothes, the luxury homes and apartments, the elaborate dinners and the abusive treatment of people.

Good writers, especially movie and television understand that you need conflict and resolution to prevent a story from being boring but seriously is that your reality? Most of us do have conflict at some time in our life but mostly we cope with a routine and the joys of doing things well.

And watching television makes us rue the ordinariness of our lives. (Books and movies can do the same thing). Studies and reports say that some people live their lives through reality television and soap operas.

Look around you. The people you see every day are the ones that really matter so today do the following:

  1. Smile at EVERYONE you meet
  2. Say hello and never be afraid to stop and talk for 30 seconds.
  3. Be kind to others. Open doors, help people with their load and be polite. Please and thank you still make a difference.
  4. Tell those in your family that you love them and say thank you to them every night as you hug them before going to sleep.
  5. Hugs are needed by every person. Touch people but only if they are comfortable with the touching. When we touch and hug something happens to our being.
  6. Share when you have excess of anything.
  7. Care for the neighbourhood. Never drop garbage and pick up others if possible. Watch where you pets defecate and pick it up.
  8. Plant beautiful flowers and share them with others.
  9. Grow herbs and use them liberally.
  10. Remember to teach your children that they have responsibilities and that nothing is theirs by right. Gratitude is something we need to practice every day.
  11. Take time to smell the grass, watch the sunrise and give thanks.
  12. Get your hands dirty occasionally. Physical labour never hurt anyone and it really grounds you.
  13. Feel the earth. Touch the grass, the leaves, the bark, the water, the wind and turn your face to the rain and the sun.
  14. Recycle as much as possible.
  15. Turn off the electronics.
  16. Laugh out loud often.
  17. Dance and move to music, even if only in your head
  18. Sing out loud.
  19. Spend time doing something new.
  20. Learn something new every day – experience ah-ha moments.

And when your heart is full of gratitude, love and laughter, you will care about others.: because to care about others you have to stop thinking only about yourself.

Live a purposeful life and enjoy it

http://www.successthieves.net; #mentor
Word Mentalist

 

Depression, Birthdays and Success Thieves

Birthdays are supposed to be happy days but as we get older I notice how they become more and more depressing and steal the joy of the celebration.

Yesterday I wished someone a happy birthday and they responded with birthday yes, happy no.

That led to a phone call…http://www.successthieves.net; #depression

Truth was he did not feel very happy. Everything seemed hopeless.

I remember that feeling. It was one of the reasons I wrote “Who Stole My Success?”

It happens to everyone I believe. There are moments in our life when we look back and it feels like nothing has worked out. And when we feel like that it is CRITICAL to find things to be grateful for.

It is also important to create plans, even simple actions that you will undertake today and tomorrow.

World Health Organization (WHO) added a new video: I had a black dog, his name was depression. It was eye-opening for me about depression. I know that depression is serious: 3 members of my family suffer from serious, immobilizing depression.

http://successthieves.net; #depression

I don’t claim to understand the depths of the mental health situation called depression but I do know that depression can affect everyone around the person suffering.

Is there a simple way of dealing with depression, short-term or long-term?

I’m not certain that there is but what I am certain of is that unless we connect, care and love each other depression will continue to steal all of our success.

Substance abuse, binge drinking, even excessive exercise to build endorphins are all ways that can be used to reduce symptoms of depression.

But what is this thing called depression?

There are many webpages devoted to it. There are professionals in the medical and council fields that specialise in depression.

Is this an increasing health risk?

Just because you feel sad or cry are you depressed or is it a temporary human reaction and you will get through it?

My belief, (and please let me know if you agree or not); is that if we practiced the 5 A’s (awareness, acknowledgement, acceptance, appreciation and action) more and actually loved ourselves and others so that we were better connected, then depression would no longer be the fastest growing medical condition (both diagnosed and undiagnosed) in the western world today.

http:www.successthieves.net; #hugs
Hugs all around

So today – HUGS all around. I do care.

You are AWESOME and remember you can stop your success thieves by taking control of your choices and saying NO to what is not working for you.

And remember: it is okay sometimes to feel sad, cry or just feel bummed out.

May your day be filled with little miracles and one big joy that carries you through to tomorrow when the same wish holds. Do something FUN!

Until next time

http://www.successthieves.net; #mentor
Word Mentalist

 

What do I do now?

Have you ever felt that you reach a point and you have no idea of what to do now?

Often this question is asking you to consider one of 2 things:

  1. Am I living to my purpose?
  2. Do I need to redefine/review my constraints and choices?

When we problem solve, we need to know 5 things.

  1. Where we want to go? Move To
  2. Where we are now? Move Form
  3. What are the choices/optional activities to reach our objective? Paths
  4. What are the constraints on those choices including who else do we need to involve. Constraints
  5. Actions to move from where we are to where we want to be.

The greatest challenge is often to be clear on where we want to go?

Most of us know we don’t want to be where we are but…we are often afraid to envision where we want to be or worse we look at what we have and are afraid of losing it.

Many years ago, Peter and I packed up a wonderful life in Canada for a new adventure. We moved half way around the world with 40 boxes and 8 suitcases and 2 children under 12. We knew we wanted a different life. Peter always intended to move to New Zealand when he left Glasgow. So I knew we were coming to New Zealand when we married. The when was dependent on many variables.

Since coming to New Zealand, we have explored many different living conditions and styles. We have renovated old villas, built homes similar to what we lived in when we were in Canada. We have lived in apartments, flats, and different types of houses. (Yes we are a bit nomadic).

We have started companies, trained entrepreneurs, managed companies, gone back to university, run projects, worked on boards, mentored hundreds of people and so many more adventures.

In all our adventures, we wanted to meet both our purposes.

  • Peter’s to learn as much as possible not from formal education but through experience and book (internet) learning.
  • Mine was to help people and Peter supported me in this allowing me to help thousands of people learn and manage businesses and create new careers for themselves.

So when we ask “what next” we always revisit our purpose and look at what we can do next to meet that purpose.

And so the journey continues.

What next for you? Please share?

Live your Purpose

Word Mentalist

It Takes a Village…

It takes a village to raise a child is an African proverb but what does it mean in today’s western world?

 

Consider that instead of a village we call it a hamlet just to shift our paradigm from an African Village.

What would we find in this hamlet and why would we want it?

  1. We would find a collection of diverse people who want to live purposefully, sustainably and grow and develop individually and collectively.
  2. Each person willing to give of themselves and share the material things they bring and share their ideas and help others.
  3. Each person would understand that they have a responsibility for themselves and to the community. They keep their word and always do their best. They ask for help when they identify that they need it.
  4. A place where blame and shame have no place as everyone is perfectly who they are in the moment.
  5. Each person accepts that every other person in the hamlet needed love, caring, understanding, friendship and support and each person works to provide that to every other person in the hamlet.
  6. The hamlet provided for its own energy, food, water and basic survival needs. All income is shared as are expenses. If is sounds like a commune there are some similarities but the difference comes because each week the person in charge changes. The hamlet needs a person in charge because it must interact with the greater world and that needs someone to help make internal decisions and help all to understand each other as well as pass out superior daily hugs to everyone.
  7. Touch is important but sexuality and sex are not important.
  8. Children are treasured and encouraged but everyone is responsible for a child’s welfare. Rules exist but but they allow individuality and encourages testing limits.
  9. All ages are valued and supported
  10. Food is simple, basic natural, pure and nutritious. No preservatives, no additives and no excess but balanced for each person’s needs at the time. Cooking can be communal or individual. Storing surplus is unnecessary as everything is made to meet daily needs however freezing, canning and preserving is encouraged. The concept is to live off the land. Meals are for sharing and learning as well as eating. Snacking is discouraged. Alcohol and medicinal drugs are special needs only. Herbs and natural products are used to optimise health. Sugar is limited or eliminated.
  11. Laughter is encouraged.
  12. Everyone is acknowledged, accepted and appreciated and told every day thank you for being you.
  13. Belief in a higher being, God is an underlying principle and gratitude for the blessings is given daily.
  14. Every person is encouraged to challenge their limits and to continually learn new things. Experimentation is encouraged.
  15. Staying in the hamlet is a choice but harming the hamlet or any individual could result in asking person to leave the hamlet.
  16. Life is purposeful and full of gratitude.
  17. The past is a lesson, the future is a promise and NOW is all there really is.

What else would you like to see in your hamlet? What would it take to create this kind of hamlet? Can it be done?

To a living a purposeful paradigm

Word Mentalist

ABC’s of the Purposeful Living Paradigm

Do you love basics? Knowing the rules? Doing what is acceptable/expected? Then you probably have some ABCs that you do in your life and business. The basics!

Living in the Paradigm

The Purposeful Living Paradigm is a methodology we have been living for most of our married lives (a span of 48 years shortly). Peter  started living that way as a child, he has always lived to his purpose.

What is Peter’s purpose – to learn and understand as much as possible. He loves to synthesize new thoughts, new ways of looking at the world. He asks different and often difficult questions. He studies what people do and say and then asks them why and would they do things differently, if they could? His analytical ability astounds me. He is not a fan of formal education as he loves the research, the seeking out of patterns and behaviours. He listens. He prothletises. He challenges. He assumes very little. And he takes very little personally – your opinion is yours and he allows you to keep it.

My purpose is to help as many people as possible to live their purpose. As a business mentor this is often hard as I want to tell people what they should do if they really want the results they say they do. I tend to believe people and take them at face value. Sometimes this works really well but often people tell me only what they think I want to hear and that means we have a confused base to start applying the ABC’s of the Purposeful Living Paradigm.

Before I explain the ABCs, we need to understand the word paradigm and one of the quirks of human nature.

According to dictionary definitions: A paradigm is

  • a framework containing the basic assumptions, ways of thinking,and methodology that are commonly accepted by members of scientific community such as  a cognitive framework shared by members of any discipline or group.

A quirk – most people when they shift paradigms cannot remember ever having believed or thought differently. It takes awareness and discipline to recall old paradigms and when we shift our paradigms we generally believe we are moving to something better so why would we want to recall the previous paradigm. Shifting is because either the old paradigm did not work or we saw the light of the new paradigm. And yes I want you to shift but shift so that choose and remember.

That is importance of the A in the ABCs.

The ABC’s of Purposeful Living Paradigm

A: AWARENESS/ ACTION

  • Are you aware of your thoughts and actions?
  • Are you aware of what is happening around you without getting distracted from your activities?
  • Are you taking action and doing something that moves you towards meeting your needs and the needs of those around you.
  • Are you acting in a manner consistent with your purpose?
  • Are you acting according to your values?

YOUR ATTITUDE

B: BEHAVIOUR/BELIEFS

  • Actions matter but it is your behaviour that tells more. Using the Behavioural Archetypes, we often learn that we act in a way that is more reactive than natural.
  • Behaviour is how we live our values and our manifesto.
  • What you believe in keeps you on course to live your purpose.

C: CONCEPTS/COMMITMENTS

  • Concepts are the ideas and beliefs that we hold and we need to always live and act in a manner consistent with those beliefs. Unless we live purposefully according to our beliefs we can feel guilty.
  • Guilt and remorse are different. Remorse occurs when you inadvertently hurt someone. Guilt is when you hurt someone intentionally. Either way, apologise and forgive and move on. This is not easy but can be done without regret or concern.
  • What are you committed to? Passion and purpose fit with our commitments and our commitments are what we promise ourselves and others. Are you committed to live your values and purpose. Commitment overcomes obstacles and keeps you focused on what matters to you.

Are you using the ABC’s to live a purposeful life? Need help with these aspects? Just ask? You can learn and participate in the Paradigm by joining the Paradigm’s Facebook Page

May you always live in the Purposeful Paradigm

Word Mentalist

 

Purposeful Living Paradigm

Recently we introduced people to the Purposeful Living Paradigm. This paradigm is based on over 50 years of study, learning, experience and helping/mentoring business owners, students and colleagues.

  • We have learned from hundreds of gurus and we believe they have missed a couple of elements that we believe are key to the paradigm.
  • We believe in personal responsibility,
  • We believe in true equality (no hierarchy)
  • We believe that business can be conducted in a manner where everyone gains what they need in a timely fashion which eliminates poverty and isolation.
  • We believe that living in the paradigm means that you are connected to others but your realise that it is a privilege, not a right.
  • In the paradigm, you know the difference between responsibility to and responsibility for.
  • Awareness is a key to living in the paradigm. You acknowledge that everyone is and they are perfectly them in this moment. You accept that they have a right to their point of view, ideas and concepts and you appreciate the differences and similarities.
  • You live by a manifesto of doing your best, assuming nothing, taking nothing personally and regret nothing because you did your best and learned from the experience.

Why Purpose?

Because purpose is important.

Purpose keeps you going through tough times.

Purpose ensures that everyone benefits.

Purpose removes the need for security blankets because it recognises the continual growth and development that purposeful living people experience.

Purpose challenges assumptions and helps one acknowledge, accept and appreciate others

Purpose keeps you grateful, humble and living in the now.

Purpose helps you enjoy day to day more fun, funds (resources) and fitness (mental, physical, emotional and spiritual).

If you want to join the paradigm or learn more about living in the paradigm, join our Facebook Page and watch for more information coming shortly.

If you want your organisation or business to be more purposeful and enjoy the true benefits of purpose let us know.

Purposeful Living is FUN!

To your purpose

Word Mentalist

Circumstances Dictate

Circumstances dictate

The things we all must face

Surround us all with fears

The world’s a vale of tears.

Our choices make the rule:

Hero or zero or the fool.

Circumstances dictate

Make victims of each race

Zero takes the simplest way:

Loss through expediency.

The fool does nothing different

Thinking it’s all efficient.

Circumstances dictate

Choose destiny or our fate

Heroes make their own path

They learn quickly how to laugh

And cry, but don’t hesitate

They’re never victims when

Circumstances dictate.

 

Purposeful Living Paradigm #1

The Life Equations

It started as a parody on Einstein’s equation (E = Mc2 ). The thought was that there should be an equation that fits how we live. Not a linear equation, but one that was at least quadratic in form.

But what would be the elements, the equivalents to E and M and c?

What do people look for in their lives?

Our first attempts were money, health and entertainment. But these were too fixed to suit our approach. So, we started with synonyms: Wealth, Health and Enjoyment. Still too restrictive for what we wanted, and extremely hard to measure.

We eventually opted for the Three F’s…

  • Fun: that’s enjoyment, entertainment and more. It can also incorporate “bliss”, “energy”, and more.
  • Funds: the available resources that someone can have. Accounting tends to put everything down to money, and we were using the parody in a business sense. To simplify, we added the meaning of Time — you need the TIME to get things done. And it alliterates nicely with Fun
  • Fitness: If the other two began with F, then the health component should also start with an F. But Fitness can also include “being fit for purpose”, hence we could use it for physical fitness, emotional fitness, mental fitness and even spiritual fitness, whatever that could mean.

But what would be the right equation?

We chose:

F = F * F2

But which F stands for which element?

That’s the humorous part — they just all need to be there.

It gives us six life equations….

The Development Equation (Early Years)

Fun = Funds * Fitness2

As children, our lives are (mostly) about Fun. We don’t have to worry about where funds are coming from, and we do our best to be fit for all the fun we can have.

The  Rebellious-Phase Equation (Teenager Years)

As teens, we start to look at fitness for our future lives, so the subject has to be Fitness. We get fitter in all kinds of ways by mixing Funds with Fun, but Fun is the biggest contributor:

Fitness = Funds * Fun2

The Finding Your Place Equation ( Young Adult)

Suddenly, resources are the main concern, Fun isn’t as much a contributor but we have to have the knowledge and skills to generate the funds:

Funds = Fun * Fitness2

The Maturing Equation (Family/Career/Adulthood)

Funds are still our main concern, but Fitness drops, and we want to really enjoy what we do. We buy into the idea that Fun (our Bliss) is the main contributor to our earnings.

Funds = Fitness * Fun2 

 

The “What Next” Equation (Change of Life Style)

Fitness = Fun * Funds2 

At this stage of life, we usually have all the resources we can use, but we are more interested in the quality of life, rather than the quantity.

The  Rewards Equation (The Final Third Stage)

Fun = Fitness * Funds2

The circle of life/business is complete.

The stages apply to business, life and community but the key is evolution and the continual need for the components of FUN, FUNDS and FITNESS in some proportion in your life.

REMEMBER – teach your grandchildren the components and the formulae so that their world has purpose that is fulfilled.

Enjoy Fun, Funds and Fitness today

Word Mentalist